An exception

Something might be happening. What's going on me? I did a seasonal change of clothing today. Winter has come.

I went to a department store to look for a bag for job. I needed a bag which I can enter A3 papers. Because there are bags of all sizes and shapes at the bag corner in the department store, I seemed to be able to find one. Though some of bags for men were large enough to contain A3 papers, I couldn't find one in them for women.
And I also needed a blouse to wear under a jacket of suits. I looked for a blouse for ceremony or important meetings which I can button up the collar. But there isn't a regular form like white shirts for men, I had to choose one suitable for business from many kinds of blouses at each shop.

Men who wear white shirts called women who wear uniforms "girls" in the organization I work in now. I don't know why people called "girls" don't go out on business.
"girls" seems a name of a kind of job. Do "girls" like the name?

If the name is OK, can I call you guys "men"? I asked them. If it's not good, how about calling name? I think we have names, don't you think? I proposed. But they told me.
You don't belong to "girls". So you need not to be worried about it. OK. I know. I know. I' m not a girl. But I also don't belong to "men" . What group should I belong to?

I get used to a word " rare". Sometimes people said to me. But whenever I notice that people around me think I'm an exception and there isn't any rule for people like me, it takes away my motivation. If there're many people like me, I will leave for another organization anytime. The situation which I need not to explain about myself must be good. But there seem little difference anywhere in Japan. I'm always an exception here and feel alienated. I belong to nowhere.
I must have been born here but sometimes I feel like I'm a stranger or an alien.

But I have to say I'm lucky. Because at least I wasn't born in north great nation where the secret police is still active or north small nation where the stupid king is still alive. Here is not comfortable but I will not be killed even if I say what I want to say.